Eternal Significance

One of the best feelings in the world is when a friend says to you, "You are not the only one." I have had some struggles in the last couple of weeks. I find myself yelling at Ben and Nate, losing my patience, wanting things that are expensive that I don't need, and I catch myself saying things like "If I had ____, I would be so much happier." I'm not sure why I get this way from time to time.
Two close families Mark and I know are currently adopting children from Haiti. Vonda Hogle and Sammy & Ashley Adebiyi are both on their journeys to bring their kids home. Their stories on how all this came about is amazing and I can clearly see how God orchestrated the whole thing from the beginning. Sammy has been in Haiti for about a week now trying to get all the documents in place and spending time with their little girl, Bebe, while Ashley has been here in Toledo getting their home ready. She just flew out yesterday evening to Haiti to bring Bebe home with Sammy. I am so excited for their adventure and that they are being a part of God's remarkable story of love. And I must add that this little girl has a BEAUTIFUL voice! Sammy and Ashley's adventure is just beginning! I can't wait to meet Bebe and watch their family grow with God's hand in place.
Vonda will be flying out on March 1st to try to adopt 2 kids she fell in love with. When I listen to her stories and see her eyes fill with tears, I can't help but admire her so much. Her kids' names are Christilove which translates to "the love of Christ" and Dubon translates to "God is good." Vonda is a single mom who just does what God calls her to. Who can not admire her?!?!?
Both are trying to raise money to complete the adoptions. This is where I found myself struggling, which is very hard for me to admit but I'm doing it anyway because I need to learn to humble myself before others. I was talking to Mark about this and without a doubt we wanted to contribute financially for their adoptions. When Mark told me the dollar amount that popped in his head while praying I said, "Ok, let's do it!" However, after a few hours went by, I realized how much that really is and I started thinking about our screen door that recently broke, our dishwasher that decided to stop working, our carpet that needs to be professionally cleaned, a camera I've had my eye on, etc...I completely lost sight of what is really important, which is bringing home 3 orphans who our friends love. I confessed this to Mark saying, "Wow, that's a lot of money now that I think about it. I'm pretty nervous about it since we could really use it right now." His reply was (and the reason I married this man and love him so much), "What is more important than the orphans? This is the only life we have, so why waste it on 'things' when we can do more? We have to think about the eternal significance and do what we can to be a part of what God is doing." WOW. And he is completely right.
Nothing is more important than being a part of God's story. To do what we can to love others and show God's love. To put God's love ahead of our own wants and desires. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4- This is one of Mark's favorite verses. He shared it with me when we were dating back in the day. It played a huge part into our relationship back then and it is playing a huge significance with us right now. My heart doesn't desire a fixed dishwasher so that I don't have to wash them by hand. My heart doesn't desire a fancy camera. My heart doesn't desire a fixed screen door. What my heart does desire is to be closer to my Maker, to follow Him and allow Him to work through me. It's tough, but the eternal significance is what's keeping me in place. And there's no other place I would rather be. All that other stuff can wait.
Please pray for my friends who are on this amazing journey and if you feel like God is leading you to help support them you can e-mail me at susuhappyapple@yahoo.com and I will give you their information. Thanks so much! God bless :)

A Quiet "Mom"ent

Aaaaahhhhh....I love nights when my boys are in bed early, the house is quiet and I have my comfy clothes on. Times of solitude are essential to my well-being. I know people who need to be around people at all times and I honestly have no idea how they can possibly survive without a moment of peace, quiet and pure solitude.
Tonight I'm feeling thankful. I have little moments during my day that make me proud to be a mom to my two boys. Ben is such a curious little guy right now. He has been asking some pretty interesting questions about God, heaven, school, family, friends, etc...:
"Why is there bad people?"
"Why do I have to go to kindergarten? What is that place?"
"Why are you angry sometimes? Like when you yell at me, you're being angry. Are you angry now?" (This question broke my heart. My reply was "well, sometimes you don't listen to mommy and sometimes I think the only way I can get you to listen is to yell. I'm sorry that mommy yells sometimes and I'll try not to yell, but you have to try to listen more, ok?" His response, "Ok mommy." Again, that response broke my heart too. He is such a great child and I hate that I make him feel like he's not at times. He hates to disappoint people, especially Mark and myself).
"Can you turn your magic ears off?" (hehe, Ben thinks I have magic ears because when he tries to whisper something to Mark he "whispers" REALLY LOUD without realizing it and of course I can hear him).

I love my Ben.

Nate...what a handful! I love that boy from head to toe. He cracks me up from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed at night. He makes being a mommy so much fun! I do wish I knew how to speak his mother language though. He will come up to me, tap me on the arm or leg or stomach and then say "Mama? Mama?" like he has something important to say to me and when I answer "yes?" he will just speak some jibberish and then trot away. If I could describe him I would say that he is a bundle of crazy stubborn joy in a hurricane. And he makes me laugh.

"Mom"ents make me happy. Solitude makes me calm. Right now I am one proud mom enjoying the peace and quiet. I can't wait for tomorrow and see what my boys will come up with. It's always something new. I guess I better go to sleep now so I have the energy to keep up with them tomorrow! :)

My Ben Is 5...

You were born on February 4th, 2005 @ 3:15 p.m.

You were 8.8 pounds, 21 inches long

I loved meeting you in person and seeing your sweet little face.

My life had a whole new meaning on the day you were born.

This is the first picture of your big smiling face.

You sure loved your daddy whenever he was in your sight.

I couldn't get enough of your smiles!

You smiled all the time! 

The first time I heard you laugh my heart exploded with joy. 

When you turned one, we bought you your first drum set.

It was loud...just like daddy ;)

When you were two I knew without a doubt I had the cutest toddler in the world.

Look at your face!

I wish I could go back and kiss those cheeks again.

When you were three you amazed me with your personality.

Big changes were coming this year, too. You were going to be a big brother!

I was worried but...

you loved baby Nate from day 1.

You are such a good big brother.

Not that your baby brother doesn't try to annoy you every now and then ;)
Or that you don't ever pick on him...
But still, you are a very good brother :)

When you turned four, I couldn't believe it.

Where did the last 4 years disappear to?

You still amazed me this past year.

You started preschool and loved it.

You are now reading.
You learned how to be a great friend.

You are sweeter than ever.

And now...

...you are FIVE YEARS OLD! 
Five years ago today, you changed my life.
You helped me learn so much about so many things.
You continue to amaze me with the gifts God has given you.
I am so proud you are my son.
I love you, my Ben.
Happy 5th Birthday!!
love,
Mommy
p.s.

 Don't ever change :) 

Tonight's season premiere did not disappoint. 

A good Lost episode is one that leaves you with questions.

And I have a lot of questions!


http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/02/02/lost-premiere-damon-carlton/
This site is great for all you lost fans :)